I completely agree with the idea in America that you don't need to be skinny to be beautiful. I think curvy women are awesome, I just don't think all those same curves look good on me.
I've always been thin on accident. Genetics, metabolism, whatever. I weight 88lbs until I started high school, then I got small boobs and a small butt and over the next 5 years gained about 50lbs. I'm 5'10", so this was not a bad thing.
Then I met my fiance. I was bartending, I was moving a lot and eating a little and I was 21. I was sooo skinny that looking back, I don't want to be that skinny again.
but then, over the course of the 2.5 years we've been dating, my metabolism slowed down, I ate more, and I broke my arm. My broken arm was casted for 8 months (no joke) and I gained more weight. Like 25-30lbs more. Don't get me wrong, I still think I look good. My boobs got bigger, which is always awesome. but so did my lovehandles. The cast just came off my arm in November, and I just got released from PT (for more at home therapy) a few weeks ago. I can walk on the treadmill and ride a bike, that's about it for my working out. No more yoga, or pilates (which I loved before) and I can barely lift the weights I need for therapy, although I am getting much better with those.
Looking at my clothes, and my not fat but fat to me arms, I'm worried about my wedding day. More photos will be taken of me that day than any other day of my life. I'm walking every day, and have lost about 10lbs with that and a semi-good (as in, better than candy bars and chili dogs) diet, but I still worry. I want toned, ripped arms that I can look back on with pride.
and it made me think, would I care so much if society didn't? If my wedding photos wouldn't be all over some social networking site for all our friends, families and exes to see?
I think I would, because I care how I look, but maybe not as much as I do now. How society sees us plays a big role in how we see ourselves. I see myself as strong, confident and sexy. I like my new curves, I just wish parts of them were less curvy. I guess the point is, I think I'll look beautiful on my wedding day, because I'm happy, and I think that's the point of life, just accept yourself and be happy.
Now, excuse me while I go run on the treadmill and eat only lettuce for a month. <3