Things change, and people change.
and it sucks.
and sometimes, it sucks but you're just tired of caring that it sucks.
Getting married changed a lot of my friendships. I'm not saying it was entirely my fault, or entirely theirs. People change. I just realized that even though I love my friends, and girls nights, and drinking on occasion, my priorities and desires are different. Even more so now, after the wedding, but before too.
After we got engaged, we were on a tight budget to pay for the wedding ourselves. We were also on a strict guest list. Some people didn't get that, and asssumed they were invited, or could bring a date, or whatever and got offended when what they thought SHOULD happen, didn't.
Some friends, one very close friend in particular, were not being as supportive as we needed. Were making decisions bad for their lives, refusing to accept help, and making me distance myself. It still makes me sad, but I am happy that it looks from afar as if some changes have been made...I just wish things could have worked out.
Some people I thought were my friends, weren't at all, and were completely rude and irresponsible when I needed them most, and it was disappointing to have to suffer that during the happiest period of my life so far.
and some people, while I was trying to be friends, were being friendly to my face, and then doing awkward, mean things behind my back, and making me question why I was trying so hard in the first place.
Now, after the wedding, when we are free to do more things both budget and schedule wise, I find the things we want to do are different. The idea of going out drinking both nights on the weekend until 3am no longer appeals. I'd rather stay home and do movie night with hubby, or go out for dinner and drinks with the girls, home in bed by midnight. I'd rather have house parties with my friends than go to clubs and spend obscene amounts of money to be around people I don't know.
I'm looking to our family and our future, spending time and money decorating our home rather than on booze, looking into paying off our debt and saving up so we can, sooner rather than later, starting trying for a baby.
My favorite weekends are the lowkey ones, with close friends and our families, spending time with my parents and sister, and growing closer with the best in-laws in the world. It's nice to feel like one big family now.
I'm also taking steps forward with my life, working my job and starting a wedding and event planning business on the side. I have 2 weddings for 2013 and am so happy to be working on my dream!!
I signed up to walk the 3 day with my mother-in-law and am forcing myself to train and work out in ways I've never made myself before.
I'm changing.
I'm thrilled about it. I like where I'm going, I like who I'm becoming, I know my husband likes it, and we are only getting closer and stronger as the days go by and we grow together.
It just makes me a little sad that some friends can't deal with the changes, can't be happy for the things we're doing, can't support us or our new low key (mostly) lifestyle.
Just one of those things I guess. I'm lucky that we do have such a good family, and good close friends who love us and what we do and decide. We get to go to NC this month to meet even more of Zack's family, and I'm excited beyond words for that. I know who our family is, I know who to trust and who not to trust, I know who has our best interests at heart, and that's all that matters.
Sometimes dealing with change is hard though...but for the best :)
