Monday, January 30, 2012

Getting ready for the most photographed day of my life...

I completely agree with the idea in America that you don't need to be skinny to be beautiful.  I think curvy women are awesome, I just don't think all those same curves look good on me.
I've always been thin on accident. Genetics, metabolism, whatever.  I weight 88lbs until I started high school, then I got small boobs and a small butt and over the next 5 years gained about 50lbs.  I'm 5'10", so this was not a bad thing.
Then I met my fiance.  I was bartending, I was moving a lot and eating a little and I was 21.  I was sooo skinny that looking back, I don't want to be that skinny again.
but then, over the course of the 2.5 years we've been dating, my metabolism slowed down, I ate more, and I broke my arm.  My broken arm was casted for 8 months (no joke) and I gained more weight.  Like 25-30lbs more.  Don't get me wrong, I still think I look good.  My boobs got bigger, which is always awesome.  but so did my lovehandles.  The cast just came off my arm in November, and I just got released from PT (for more at home therapy) a few weeks ago.  I can walk on the treadmill and ride a bike, that's about it for my working out.  No more yoga, or pilates (which I loved before) and I can barely lift the weights I need for therapy, although I am getting much better with those.
Looking at my clothes, and my not fat but fat to me arms, I'm worried about my wedding day.  More photos will be taken of me that day than any other day of my life.  I'm walking every day, and have lost about 10lbs with that and a semi-good (as in, better than candy bars and chili dogs) diet, but I still worry.  I want toned, ripped arms that I can look back on with pride.
and it made me think, would I care so much if society didn't?  If my wedding photos wouldn't be all over some social networking site for all our friends, families and exes to see?
I think I would, because I care how I look, but maybe not as much as I do now.  How society sees us plays a big role in how we see ourselves.  I see myself as strong, confident and sexy.  I like my new curves, I just wish parts of them were less curvy.  I guess the point is, I think I'll look beautiful on my wedding day, because I'm happy,  and I think that's the point of life, just accept yourself and be happy.
Now, excuse me while I go run on the treadmill and eat only lettuce for a month. <3

Thursday, January 26, 2012

He makes the money, I spend it...

My fiance makes more money than I do.  By a fair amount.  This is fine with me.
I pay all our bills because he can't remember to do trivial things like keeping the water on, which is also fine with me.
The problem arises out of my love of clothes.  and purses. and shoes.  When I want new purses or shoes, I can usually just order them out of "my" account, which I keep with his full knowledge solely for the purpose of buying 6 pairs of nude high heels or expanding my Vera collection.  The good news is, he never notices new purses or shoes unless I point them out. The bad news is, we're getting married in a month, and are mostly paying for it ourselves.  Therefore, even "my" money isn't I have to convince him I NEED things that I want. ie: the seersucker dress I must have
 me:  *link to dress*
  tell me i can have $100 to buy this.
Zack:  lol that's pretty
me:  pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
game day dress
wedding attendance dress
Zack:  after the wedding

then he goes on to talk about basketball.
This is just one of those things that happens when you get married and decide you're a responsible grown up, isn't it?

Friday, January 20, 2012


So I'm new to this whole thing. All I know is I read a lot of blogs, both those belonging to people I know and those that I don't.  I think I lead a fairly entertaining life.  It's full of surprises, that's for sure.
I'm just over a month out from my wedding, which I'm throwing for 200 people. No. I don't even know 200 people, that's the funny part.
  I have the best fiance anyone could ask for in Zachary.  He thinks I'm funny and charming and a little bit crazy, all of which is true. We work hard, we play hard, we make each other laugh.
We have 2 dogs, and in the midst of wedding planning, we bought our first home.  We're still working on decorating it and filling it up with stuff.
We live by the beach, our first date was to the beach and we try to go as often as possible.  Lately, that hasn't been nearly enough.  I'm ready for a honeymoon and some mai tais...

We have a great family and an awesome set of friends. I don't know what we'd do without them.  I'm excited to chronicle this time in our lives, and I'll probably include some posts about things that happened in the last 11 months of our engagement.  It'll be part wedding, part humor, part little ol me.  I think what I've gone through in this engagement might be of some good advice to other girls, but we'll see.

Off for now, to think of something witty to say later <3